sunshine and rain

“the true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow i have clutched” (h.d. thoreau)

“the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears” (j.v. cheney)

with complete certainty, i can say that this was the most beautiful morning of my life.

i left my home in the cool darkness of the fall morning and the sun started to make an appearance as i crossed the potomac river. slowly at first and then with increasing intensity, the sky awakened into a brilliant canvas of reds and yellows. it continued to burn with colour as i approached the monocacy river and illuminated the landscape of trees displaying their leaves in myriad autumnal colors. it was beautiful and breathtaking and inspiring and then, the sky went dark, and then, the rain came.

in the darkness again, i continued toward my office building and as i made my final turn, the sun returned and a magnificent double rainbow appeared and filled the sky and my soul with wonderment. i raced to my building, parked my car, and stood in the parking lot marveling at the most beautiful morning of my life. 

in those moments, nothing else existed or mattered. i was free and alive and part of something beyond my understanding.

try as i might, my words and pictures cannot possibly come close to describing this scene. it was something so much more; something i will carry with me forever.

sometimes it takes a little rain and some storm clouds to find out who the true rainbows are. again, my thanks to you. the sun will shine again, i promise. 

charlotte (the city not the singer)

my week in charlotte has come and gone. i’m still catching up on email, sleep, and my dvr, but i have so many great memories to keep me company while i get back to my life in the real world.

here’s charlotte in a nutshell:
• vodka & red bull
• NASCAR (17)
• playing pool (and making that shot, jorge)
• tiger teeth
• college night
• broken glasses
• the girl from georgia (still not funny, chris)
• late, late nights
• very early mornings
• new friends (g, seth, tanya, s, brian)
• good friends (chris, jorge)
• best friends (todd, danny)

and so, i head back to the office tomorrow, not quite the same as when i left. i am a lucky girl to have such awesome friends — friends who partied by my side, friends who walked me home each night, and friends who were my voice of reason. thank you. you know who you are. charlotte wouldn’t have been the same without you.

circle around the zero

the circle around the zero (j. rumi)

a lover doesn’t figure the odds.

he figures he came clean from god
as a gift without a reason,
so he gives without cause
or calculation or limit.

a conventionally religious person
behaves a certain way
to achieve salvation.

a lover gambles everything, the self,
the circle around the zero! he or she
cuts and throws it all away.

this is beyond
any religion.

lovers do not require from god any proof,
or any text, nor do they knock on a door
to make sure this is the right street.

they run,
and they run.

—

i came across this one hidden in an old folder of an old email account, buried deep in an electronic grave. it was sent to me by someone i once loved after we parted ways. although intangible at the time, i see now that this poem captures, with haunting eloquence, the exact reason that i said goodbye all those years ago.