perspective

“every day she shed tears, not from sadness, but because the world was a beautiful as life was short.”

i sat myself down to write something because it’s been much too long since i’ve done so, and i can’t think of a single thing to write. some things seem too trivial, a few things are too overwhelming, but most are just lost somewhere in between.

things have happened lately, some to myself and some to others that have served to abruptly put things back into perspective. the small, annoying, inconsequential things just don’t seem to matter all that much anymore. the unreturned messages, the traffic, the tempermental CS2 suite, none of it seems worth a second thought.

what matters is that i am here to write these words and think these thoughts and that i am surrounded by family and friends who i love and respect.

life is good and i am lucky to know this.

sometimes we all get a little lost. what’s important is that we find our way back to what really matters, and it isn’t in a store, and it isn’t on a website, and it isn’t on the dvr, it’s inside each of us. it’s the thing that makes us smile at a friend and cry at a wedding and dream deep in the night. it’s the realization that we are each flawed and that life is fleeting and that we don’t have all the answers.

and somehow, at least for me, there is comfort
in the uncertainty,
in the ambiguity,
in the possibility.

friday morning

“We sleep, but the loom of life never stops, and the pattern which was weaving when the sun went down is weaving when it comes up in the morning.” (Henry Ward Beecher)

i was smiling on my drive into work this morning because this is one of those days. i knew it the moment i opened my eyes. days like this don’t happen often, but when they do, it’s a beautiful thing.

on the surface, this morning really isn’t different from any other morning, except that it just feels right – like i’m in tune with something larger, part of some universal harmony.

everything just seems to go right, from the small, mundane things to things much larger than i realize. i liken it to a quilt, each stitch falling perfectly into place, one after the other until finally, the finished piece becomes beautiful in a way that is beyond the sum of the parts.

woven expertly into the fabric of my life,
this day is filled with promise, i can feel it.

ADP review

(those of you who are not tori fans will probably want to forgo reading this)

american doll posse
tori amos
released 01 may 2007

review respectfully submitted by: heather dyan, 16 may 2007

due to their length and general lack of substance (sorry velvet revolution), the following tracks are not considered in this review:

velvet revolution
programmable soda
devils and gods
posse bonus
yo george
fat slut

okay, here goes nothing.

18. miracle – i’ve tried, but i can’t find anything redeeming about this song. whenever it plays i find myself skipping to the next track as fast as possible. yuck. (0/10)

17. digital ghost – i’m not a fan of this one either. too sweet, too literal, too blah. also skipping material. (1/10)

16. secret spell – another one from the bottom of the barrel. i don’t like the overall sound, the lyrics don’t speak to me and, as a result, i usually skip along to another track. (1/10)

15. mr. bad man – this one gets points for being overtly cute in a crazy tori kind of way. makes me think of some of the weird b-sides from the pele era. it’s okay. (2/10)

14. you can bring your dog – a little too rocky for me. pip is not my favourite posse member and this is my least favourite of her songs. (2/10)

13. teenage hustling – definitely a step up from ‘dog’. without the “i’s fourteen” part i would like this song more, i just can’t overlook that terrible, awful misspoken disaster. (3/10)

12. father’s son – okay, now we’re getting somewhere. i like this one. it’s not earth-shattering but its good. the instrumentation has a retro/vintage feel(4/10)

11. girl disappearing – typical tori ballad with strings. not my favourite of this lot, but good. unfortunately, i can’t get that ‘blue raincoat’ reference out of my head when i listen. the lyrics to this one are great, the execution of the music just doesn’t quite live up to them. (5/10)

10. almost rosey – this song suffers from my tragic decision to listen to this song solo before i heard the album version. i can’t ever go back. the album version won’t ever live up to the stripped-down, tori and piano version. good song nonetheless. (6/10)

09. big wheel – i’ve known this song the longest and it’s definitely grown on me. at first, i couldn’t get past the dreaded countdown, but i honestly don’t mind it so much anymore. this song makes me bounce in my seat and smile and that can’t be bad. (7/10)

08. bouncing off clouds – speaking of bouncing, this is another song that has grown on me. i still don’t love the ‘bouncing’ guitars on the chorus, but i can overlook them. happy tori isn’t all bad. (7/10)

07. dark side of the sun – this song is good. it would be much better for me if the versus were different – they’re too literal or something, i mean, for sale signs on the moon, come on tori. but the chorus is salvation – love it, especially the ’soldier on’ part. yummy (8/10)

06. dragon – things are getting good. i love this as the closer. its cool, smooth, dark and i love the Rhodes. (8/10)

05. body and soul – i wouldn’t have thought a pip rock song would have such a high ranking, but i really like this one. its not so overdone and it doesn’t hurt my ears. it just rocks and i like it. (8/10)

04. smokey joe – (shiver) this one is dark and mysterious and it terrifies me in a good way. i like the overlapping vocals, i like the lyrics, especially the ‘quiet siege’ part. (9/10)

03. roosterspur bridge – this is the quintessential tori ballad. with the exception of the ‘rock-n-roll jesus’ lyric, i love everything about this. its achingly beautiful with the ‘that and you leaving’ part. pure goodness. (9/10)

02. beauty of speed – this song played the same game as ‘almost rosey’ but was victorious. i love this version despite hearing the solo version first. i love the driving piano, the lyrics, the layered vocals, the instrumentation. if it were not for another song, it would win the album. (9/10)

01. code red – i heard the first few seconds of this one and it was all over for me. just to know that tori can still conjure up something of this caliber is enough for me to sleep well at night. i love everything about this song. there aren’t words for this one, it speaks for itself. pure genius. (10/10)

american doll posse

may 1st was the release date for tori amos’ latest offering, american doll posse. if you know me at all, you know i love tori. and so here are the lyrics to my favourite song from the new album. it speaks to me in a way the others don’t.

enjoy.

code red (tori amos)

Some say that I will and some say I won’t
Victory is an elusive whore
She is as easily mine as she is yours

Slip and slide my way through this charade
I know all the players and I must say
Do this long enough; you’ll get a taste for it

I’ll do this last one and I’ll grow me some wine
Leave them troubled boys all behind
What you stole, I would have given freely

Code Red staring
Code Red staring at me

Well sometimes he do and sometimes he don’t
Sometimes I love myself best alone
Do this long enough; you’ll get a taste for it

A six pack of Coke and a bottle of Jack
‘Whatever you do’, he said ‘look after that’, yeah well
Being trusted and lusted, it could be worse than that

I’ll do this last one and I’ll grow me some wine
Leave them troubled boys all behind
What you stole, I would have given freely

Code Red staring
Code Red staring
Code Red yeah

Come on baby I can drink you down
Then I have my job to do and do well
Since you won’t give guarantees I’ll be cashing out

I’ll do this last one and I’ll grow me some wine
Leave them troubled boys all behind
I’ll do this last one and I’ll grow me some wine
Leave you troubled boys all behind
What you stole, I would have given freely

Code Red
Code Red
Code Red staring